Where to start for real? With so much going on constantly in our lives, this may not be believable. Let me start by saying that we have found in our time, that we may be the personification of murphy’s law; Which states: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I’m not just talking about her being sick and no doctors being able to find the root cause or an effective treatment. That’s a given, and wouldn’t make for much of a story. For example when we were living in San Diego, and I still get heat for this, I bought a car. We had a beater neon that finally crapped out on us, and Bella had her Mustang at the time; So I bought a cheap Crown Vic. Cost about $1000 and I loved it. No air conditioning, and I had to rig an incompatible radio to work, but it was wonderful. One night I drive up the street to get quarters to do our laundry. Literally up the street maybe a quarter of a mile, to get quarters from the laundromat so I could wash my uniforms at the complex we lived in.
I get pulled over on my way back because the light on my license plate was out. I co-operate, I hand my license, proof of insurance, and all that over; however I didn’t have it registered in my name just yet. I had had it maybe a week and the license plates hadn’t expired yet, so I was trying to find the time with my busy schedule, but it hadn’t happened yet. Turns out I had bought a stolen car, the license plates hadn’t been registered in years, and the sticker was fraudulent. Luckily the cops thought I was a good guy, figured I got screwed, and had to tow it. They were nice enough to let me get the car seat, stroller and whatever I could out of it, and apologized for having to take it, nice guys. It was supposed to be just a warning for the new guy that was in training, but it turned into a much better training experience, and a bit more paperwork.
So Bella is freaking out, I had been gone way too long, she thought the worse. Our newborn baby girl was hungry and crying. Just a nice cherry on top. We took the total loss of whatever was left in the car and of course the car itself. Bad luck. So we try having her drive me in most days, until one day we had a long night, up with the baby. I ended up having to drive myself, and parked just outside of base because I was running late. That day the mustang gets stolen, right outside the base. I walk out on the phone with Bella, and can’t find the car. I freak out, call the cops, they take my statement, and are nice enough to drive me home. To make things worse Bella’s purse with $4000, we were going to use to get a new car with, was under the seat. We get a rental car for the week and needed a new car with all of our savings pretty much gone because we were idiots, and the guy working the front desk at the police station was the same officer that pulled me over maybe a week prior with my Crown Vic… They find the car in pieces a few days later, we try to recover it, but it was chopped. No one got charged with the theft, and they try to accuse us of having it stolen on purpose. Even though we just had liability insurance and had no gain if it was stolen, but whatever. We end up having to get a cheaper used car financed, as they tried to get us to trade in our rental lol. That was a fun week, but I guess it happens… Murphy’s Law is real.
On to the fun part. Bella hate’s that I got her car stolen, and may never forgive me, but we love each other and have somehow found a way to get this far. Though it does come up from time to time, and I’m sure once she reads this post, she’ll be upset, but I couldn’t think of a better example to show the feeling of our lives.
For us, our lives feel like a perpetual feeling of that week. Not with cars, but with Bella’s health. Every time we start to make a breakthrough, it’s usually met with disappointment and restarting the search. It’s upsetting, and we do our best each and every time to keep a smile, even with our hope dwindling, because we’re determined to figure it out and get her better. Since Bella got sick, most of her life has been on bed rest. Too sick to get up even to pee. I’ve gotten her bedpan an innumerable amount of times, while she lay’s in pain. When she’s unable to get out of bed, she spends pretty much the entirety of her waking hours researching. Connecting to people who are having similar symptoms. No time is wasted, even sitting still. She’s been an advocate for POTS, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, Chronic EBV, and candida. We’ve been able to help so many, and she’s even changed hospital policies, from a hospital bed, while admitted. In a way she’s saved countless lives, unable to save her own.
There are times we break down, but we don’t let it keep us down. Life is hard every single day, but we keep pushing through. That’s what I want this story to show in the end. That no matter how far down life pushes you, there’s always a reason to pick yourself up and push onward. Every day something happens, good or bad. When the bad happens you can get depressed and down on yourself, or you can push onward and hope for a better tomorrow. We choose to put on a smile and push on. Every single day, we have hope for tomorrow. Even if the day gets worse or stays the same, we know one day tomorrow will come, and it will finally be the one we’ve been waiting for. Where Bella is better and we can begin our lives again. Where we can be on top of our game and thrive like we once did. The story has barely begun, and we’re looking for the end. I know this post is out of place, and has been surprisingly difficult to get out.
The story I told, is the best metaphor I can think of for our daily lives. The pain, disappointment, sadness, and stress is daily. However we still smile, make time to find our happiness in little things, and keep falling more in love. We made our vows a little over 8 years ago, and we’re taking the sickness and health part to it’s limits. I love you Bella. You’re my yellow bird. Without you I may not be able to survive, and I fall more in love with you each and every day. To everyone else, I hope I can get the real story out in a way that makes sense.